What now?

by Confessions

You walk past each other not knowing that each life has their own chaotic story but yet that moment when you past by you feel a slight feeling of peace.

Still you do not know that this stranger who you see once every week is about to rock your world upside down. Not even knowing what God has in store for the combination of two broken souls.

You get to know this couple who inspires your life tremendously to trust that God works in and through everyone’s lives and situations. And as you get closer to this couple you realize that they are people who you learn to love and soften your heart to something you haven’t done in many years.

Little did you know that these people were connected to your previous slight feeling of peace.

The days and weeks go bye and you finally decide to confront you sense of peace to see if its real and when you do your world changes, not for the worst and not for the best but just enough to change your mind about the previous heart ache you’ve felt.

As you get closer that feeling of peace starts to become bigger
You can’t deny it
You know it means something beyond what you can understand as a mortal being

The months go bye and the feeling becomes un-describable

God placed an angel right in front of your eyes and it shines so bright that you don’t know where to begin

Lost for words, numb to the pain excited at the idea of God’s presence becoming so strong

You share you chaotic lives with one another and the love becomes stronger and you realise that good can come from chaos

but now what… when you think you understand you put that wall up again and you get scared to let them know more
your sense of peace is leaving.. leaving you to figure things out and to fill in the blanks while your peace, your angle understands and knows what the blanks are going to be filled with

Your heart starts to break slowly
it does not crumble or shatter but it starts to deteriorate

You’re lost in the ember this array of light that you forgot to protect yourself and now your here

But what now
what do you do when you feel like you are confused as if you lost it all

There’s someone else feeling exactly what you felt when you crossed each others paths

and the tears fill your eyes because your peace has been stretched so far across the world that it breaks because it cant go any further, so what now besides the fact that everything you thought you prayed for and you thought you knew is gone

So you sit there and realize that you don’t want your heart to go cold again but you want to have that feeling again
it’s not your time this peace was made for her you just happened to witness it at the wrong time

You got caught up and you thought you heard God approve and say yes but he didn’t you forced yourself to hear him when all this time he has been saying stop and wait until I tell you so

So what now?
Wait on God’s confirmation and pray or go ahead and do what you think might be right but with out his blessing?