Conscious dream

by Confessions

I feel it so vividly,
your touch
your presence
When you slowly grasp my shoulder or the part of my thigh that connects to my knee,
ever so gently
as if to say… I’m right here

I feel it

I feel the longing you have to be near,
the way your broad shoulders and arms wrap around my small torso
asking me to
please not go this time…
stay a little longer

I feel you

I see you perfectly, with no reason to assume you are something else
Every fiber of your being is present to me

But I see her too…

She’s always right there
behind you
but she refuses to see us

It’s as if we are both pigments of our imagination
two people who happen to think and feel the same thoughts at the same time…
bringing us together in the mind

in reality, you can call this perfect timing

She doesn’t see the way you reach for me when you walk away
she only feels your fingers intertwined with hers

or the way your blue eyes become shallow and overwhelm like the ocean, they sink in and fall like crashing waves, some how it’s still so beautiful…

but your smile,
the one that reaches your ears,
and makes my heart pound in an instant

She sees that

She sees you physically
trying to make it work,
make it look good for the both of you…for everyone

I hear your every thought
your emotion and meaning…

I hear the silent communication between us,
but she hears your voice

say I love you at night

and I…

I  wake up from my dream to a reality

a reality that never got you back